What's wrong with our bodies anyway?

Tonight I came across an article at Plus Model Magazine online and it inspired me to post it in my blog immediately. I haven't blogged in over 4 months now. In my first post last year, I focused a lot on the lack of body positive role-models in our culture. This model knocks it out of the ball park. Check out this great article and photo spread. 

'Most runway models meet the BMI criteria for anorexia', claims plus-size magazine in powerful comment on body image in the fashion industry.

Count down to Be Body Positive day on 8/7 begins!

Check out these ladies at Shaping Youth! They are definitely Body Positive! And that's why I'm featuring them on the first day of this countdown.This group attacks the root of where our body image issues stem from and are fostered every day... they media. They focus on media and marketing's influence on kids.

“We’re using for-profit media that SO often focuses on improving women’s bodies, and featuring parts of their bodies, instead using it to promote simple, uplifting messages that do NOT drive a profit – they remind women their worth in a world that often confuses them about that.”

  When you see the billboard off of the highway that shows before and after pictures of liposuction patients who have lost all that unsightly belly fat... and you start feeling bad about yourself... think about how the companies doing this procedure are making money off of feeding your insecurities. I say... give them the finger as you drive by, remind yourself of one of your best assets and move on with your day. Don't let them decide how you feel about yourself for the rest of the day.

When you change the way you look at things... the things you look at change! Take the power away from those messages!

Love you!

What does being body positive look like?

In March of 2011 I signed up for and attended the Be Body Positive workshop in Marin. While there I met this awesome redhead named Monica and friended her on Facebook as soon as I got back to Sacramento. She had an amazing photo album called "Goddess". I was inspired by her curves and the beauty of the photographs. I too, wanted a Goddess photo shoot! I contacted In Her Image Photography and and booked my session for June.

As some of you know, I had weight loss surgery in 2007. After years of yo-yo dieting, I thought the Gastric Lap-Band would be the answer to weight problems for good. In 18 months I lost 130 pounds and found myself in a size 8. I had always wanted to do pin-up photos but had never allowed myself to because I never had the right body for it. So I booked a session and I took some fantastic photos. I thought that seeing the photos of my new body would help it sink in, would help me feel comfortable in this new strange and small body. Getting thin did not feel or look like what I had hoped and dreamed it always would. But the experience of the photo shoot that day stayed with me. It was the best day of dress up ever.

Shortly after the photo shoot, I got really sick and the doctors found out my Lap-Band had slipped out of place and they had to schedule surgery immediately to fix it. I woke up from that surgery to find that they had to remove the whole set up completely. I was devastated! They told me I'd be fine, keep doing what I was doing (eating 1000 calories a day). No one prepared me for the effects this would have on my body, my metabolism, my emotional well being... As soon as I recovered from surgery the weight started piling back on even though I was still hardly eating anything. It was unbelievable to me how fast the weight came back despite my efforts to control everything. 

I set out on a mission to stop this cycle, learn how to heal my mind body and soul. This began with learning about Intuitive Eating to recover from binge eating, which lead me to Being Body Positive and learning about Health At Every Size. So when I saw Monica's pictures, I knew that this was the best way I could close the loop and heal from the torture and shame I've put myself through in order to try and look like what society tells me I should. I have made tremendous progress over these last two years, unfortunately it is not reflected in my pant size as one hopes it would... but this is me. This is what total size acceptance looks like for me right now. I'm no longer trapped in the shame of body hatred. Today I'm able to enjoy my body and celebrate what it looks like right now. Regardless of what size I wear and it no longer stops me from getting what I want out of this life.

Images courtesy of: In Her Image Photography

Info on the swap

Saturday, April 16th from 1-4pm
The Artisan Building
1901A Del Paso Blvd
Sacramento, ca

$5 admission
5 item minimum
Clothes must be in good clean condition. No stains or holes.

We will have dressing rooms.

Proceeds benefit Beyond Hunger
Leftover clothes will be donated to CASH and WEAVE thrift stores.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Plus Size Clothing Swap

In early March of this year, two friends and I headed west to the bay area for a sneak preview of a documentary that was being hosted by Beyond Hunger as a fundraiser event. The documentary is titled: America The Beautiful, Health for Sale - a film by Darryl Roberts, due out in August of 2011. We were so excited to be able to attend such an event, we purchased VIP tickets for the silent auction and Meet & Greet with the film maker after the viewing. It was amazing. The movie was powerful, truthful, hurtful and inspiring. At the auction that night, I purchased my "YAY" scale. All the numbers are removed and in their place are positive affirmations. (more on the movie and the significance of the scale in future posts)

During our round trip drive to San Rafeal, my friends and I had a heated and passionate discussion about being a plus size women, the challenges and stereotypes we face, the obstacles we climb and most importantly FASHION. Or actually as the case may be... the very lack of FASHIONABLE options for curvy gals. We lamented about how often we change sizes, how hard it is to find things that fit and look good, having a hard time shopping for affordable or second hand clothes. That Wednesday night, cruising along highway 80, we came up with the idea to host our own, plus size clothing swap!

We've all been swapping clothes from garages and closets over the years. Why not make it official. Open it up to the public? Make it a fundraiser? Get the word out! We found a niche and filled it. If even only for ourselves or our closest friends!

These were not just day dreams. When you have that much passion and women full of ambition and drive...this turned into a PLAN. The very next day, we were hot on the trail. A location was booked, a flier was made and we started putting the word out. All volunteer, all for our favorite charities: Beyond Hunger, CASH and WEAVE, and all for fun and fashion for fat chicks! Finally, something for us. A panacea of clothing to dig through and try on and play dress up with my girls!

While spreading the word I've been thrilled with the responses of women saying "Finally!" "this is awesome" "darn wish I could make it, I would love to go"! There has been a down side however...Along the way while promoting this event, I've encountered a curious predicament.... when I asked people to spread the word or if they knew anyone to give the flier to...some balked. It's almost as if they were thinking "I might as well call my friend fat... here fatso, a place just for you". Husbands were not thrilled about advising their wives...the recipient of this notice might be... gasp... offended!?!?!?!

I guess this crossed my mind as I was including friends on my email blast and creating the event invite on Facebook... I even put a little tag line "this is not targeted, just spreading the word". I didn't want to comb through my friends list taking a mental inventory of every ones body size. I work to hard not to compare and to respect individual beauty. This has been a tough one to approach.

But this is what we truly believe and what our mission is. I hope that women of all sizes can see this and appreciate it.

The event was created to celebrate and promote positive body image. No matter what your size. We want to feel special. Included. An event for us where we don't have to worry if they'll even have my size. We don't want to feel self conscious about other shoppers or being the biggest girl in the room. We want to shop freely and cheaply. As one friend refers to is as "the movement". Coming out of the shadows and taking up space. Not feeling like you have to WAIT until you lose weight and get to your ideal size to enjoy clothes and take part of such events.

We have also run into the question about why it's only limited to just Plus Size. The suggestion was brought up, by a well respected leader of positive body image, that we might have an Every Size swap in the future. Still promoting the same positive body image and sharing the message of being Healthy At Every Size.  We decided we will consider it in the future. Plus Size only is not meant to exclude but rather promote and include a missed demographic that needs some serious TLC. These events are something we'd like to see be a seasonal standard in our area. A reason to save your clothes and have something to look forward to. They are all volunteer planned and coordinated and will always benefit a worthy charity and will soothe our souls and warm our hearts.

Peace. Love. Music. Fashion. For all my friends!

Please share your thoughts, opinions and feedback on the topic.
Have we been so brainwashed by a society and culture that obsesses about beauty and thinness, that we feel offensive if we are suggesting someone might be plus size?

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a LOVE/HATE relationship

It's complicated right? The relationship with your body. In an effort to make any change which direction do we head in? Do we choose Hate to keep ourselves in line or do we choose Love to gently guide us?

    Sometimes I ask myself, "Why can't I get this by now?" Why is this so hard? Why can't I just stop overeating and be motivated to exercise more? Then I think, I need a plan. I need to get into action, get my shit together and just stay on it! Then it becomes a battle between me and the willpower to stay with the new plan. I feel that in order to succeed I must beat my willpower into submission. I am weak, no good, never make it... And it goes on and on. I'm the monkey on my own back treating myself like shit in order to reach a goal that I'm infatuated with, a belief that obtaining this goal will satisfy my life... Then I cant take it anymore and I binge. I'm off the wagon. I'm no good...see you failed again!
Ugh, does any part of this vicious cycle sound familiar to anyone?

     In the past I always felt that I needed to implement my own militaristic style of control over my behaviors in order to keep myself from acting badly. But when I do that, I end up rebelling against myself and run towards all the bad things I've been forcing myself to avoid. I felt that if I was accepting or gentle with what I wanted to change about myself, I'd get lazy, I was giving in, and Giving up

     Think about this: If you love someone else, do you treat them badly and put them down all the time? NO! If you love someone,  you treat them well, with kindness and respect. Why is this so hard for us to do for ourselves. I recently had an Ah-Ha moment when I realized that all this negative self talk leads me to treating myself harshly by the end of the day. What if I change my outlook to love and acceptance towards myself... will I start treating myself better? will I want to naturally take better care of myself and my health?

     Throughout my journey I find that the more gentle and loving I am to myself and the less harsh and restricting I am, the better I actually treat myself. When I'm in a place of self love and acceptance, I respect and honor by body. I'm more in tune with what I need to do to take care of myself to meet my goals. I can ask myself "am I really hungry right now and if so, what am I really hungry for?" or "what physical movement would feel good to my body right now?" instead of being obsessed about all the BAD food I shouldn't be eating or how much exercise I need to do to burn off the calories I just consumed.

     So I say, ENOUGH ALREADY! Be nice to yourself. This is the only body you have to carry you through life. If you live in a nice house and have nice things, you don't trash your house. You treat it well, take care of it and ask others to do the same. Why aren't we like that with our bodies and ourselves?

     Negative thoughts and ideas still float through my mind frequently. The change has been that now I recognize them as such and dismiss them instead of adopt them into my self conscious.

I challenge you to think of Love and not Hate next time you start feeling bad about yourself and want to embark on a path of change.

YOU get to decide how you feel about your body and how you treat it.

Don't let society and the media choose how you should FEEL about YOUR body